Ben Ballance

In the episode of The Cosby Show, “Is That My Boy?”, Cliff (Bill Cosby) takes his son, Theo, to the local park to practice (American) football in preparation for Theo’s try-out for his high school team. Cliff is disappointed, however, when Theo shows far more interest in practicing his touchdown dance than the sport itself. Scoring matters in all sports. But so does what happens immediately afterwards. In a game which rides along waves and troughs of activity, the brief period immediately following a goal provides a curious time in a soccer match. A liminal space in which proceedings are suspended to celebrate and revel in what has just happened. When the goalscorer and his or her teammates simultaneously perform as both fans and players. These conscious performances vary in premeditation and rehearsal, sometimes becoming more visible in the zeitgeist that the actual goal itself. In the case of Marco Tardelli’s goal in the 1982 World Cup final, it is the image of Tardelli, clench-fisted, screaming and shaking his head in ecstasy as he sprints toward the Italian dugout that gains prominence in fans’ recollections over the actual goal (the result of a inelegant, stalled Italian counter-attack. Even Tardelli’s first touch is poor, though his recovering sliding shot is sweetly struck). Below is an attempt to classify some of the more pre-meditated celebrations:

Reaction

Goalscorers occasionally capitalize on their moment in the spotlight by using their celebration to react in some way to the media or public opinion surrounding the game. Robbie Fowler famously responded to allegations that he used cocaine by pretending to do exactly that after dispatching a penalty for Liverpool, only to be subsequently suspended for four games by the FA– presumably because cocaine is bad and jokes are sometimes tricky to figure out. Likewise, Paul Gascoigne’s goal against Scotland in Euro 1996 served as a riposte to coverage of the England team’s pre-tournament drinking exploits in the tabloid press. Though, in this case, such was the quality of the goal, it too has remained in the public’s mind along with the celebration that followed it. The chance to take center stage, the presumably heady swarm of adrenaline to the scorer’s head, and the sudden unexpected moment of opportunity all allow soccer players to powerfully answer any niggling critics looking on.

Space

Thomas Muller, while a player lacking in technical skill and physical elegance, certainly knows how to celebrate whenever he scores a goal. Rather than wheeling away to celebrate in front of the fans, he often remains in the penalty area and celebrates there while his teammates stream into the box to join him.  This mirrors his own view of his playing style as an “interpreter-of-space” or Raumdeuter. Now that he has interpreted that space and translated it into his goal, he takes ownership of it and marks the space as his own. This imbues power and ownership within the space in the context of that match. It stakes the penalty area as Muller’s own and one that he will, presumably, be returning to in order to “interpret” later.

Hidden Messages

With a little foresight and planning, players are able to involve their wardrobe to add an element of the unexpected in their celebrations. Andres Iniesta’s touching tribute to his friend Dani Jarque in the 2010 World Cup Final is a prime example of circumstances colluding to yield a genuinely touching message. The rarity of goals in the game, though, sometimes conspires to embarrass a player planning such a message. Ian Wright hid a Nike-sponsored hidden message under his Arsenal jersey for several games before he could finally reveal it after breaking the club’s all-time scoring record. That the printed text on t-shirt was visible underneath his jersey for his goalless games preceding his breaking the record, spoiled and neutered the celebration when the shirt was finally revealed.

The Non-celebration

The worrying trend of the non-celebration has begun to creep into the game in recent years. This is of great annoyance to celebration connoisseurs. Many players who score a goal against their former teams now deem it necessary to make a show about not celebrating. An apologetic arm will rise as though the scorer had absolutely no intention of harming his former team. This is an affront to fans, a crime to the foundation of the sport. We feel cheated as though the act of the goal has not been completed, like a marriage without the “I do’s” in front of the minister.

Goal celebrations are special. A brief dip into the performing arts from otherwise staunch and occasionally robotic characters. So here’s to more expressive, performative celebrations. Go wild, soccer players! Or, alternatively, follow the example of supreme bad-ass Marcelo Bielsa and remain calmly seated enjoying an extremely small beverage.